Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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