Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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