I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
