Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
