He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
