where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
