Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
