Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
