I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
