she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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