I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
