dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Randomize
