last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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