Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
