we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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