when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
