Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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