I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
