How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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