I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
