What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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