i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
