Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
