I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
