help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
