Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
We're too hungover to prance.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
