i just wanna soil my oats bro
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
