Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
