Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Randomize
