Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
