Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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