We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
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One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
