Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
she peed on how many people?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I think I sprained my soul last night
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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