you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
