He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
