Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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