that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
