I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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