After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
