Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
