If i come over, it means nothing
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
