That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
