i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
