yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
