there's paper in my vomit.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
