I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
