In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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