Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
