I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
