it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
