Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
